West Side Story: Duelist
by Krimzon Flygon
Summary: Pretty much the crazyest story I have ever written. Riff and Bernardo are brought back from the dead to serve as bounty hunters for the Egyption Gods.


West Side Story: Duelist

(A/N: No idea where this came from. Must have been something I ate. This is, hands down, the most bizarre story I have ever come up with. Period.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the clothes on my back.

Chapter 1

A Deal from Beyond

Riff was dead.

He didn't have to wonder why. He had felt the life slip out of him as Bernardo's knife sunk into his heart. With the last of his strength, he had given Tony his own knife, before the last of his energy left him.

"But if I'm dead, why am I thinking like this?" He asked himself. If he was dead, why was he able to wonder why he was wondering why he was wondering why he...never mind.

He didn't have time to ponder infinity for long; the mist around him parted revealing an infinite stairway, spiraling upward out of sight.

'_It's pointing upward. That's a good sign_.' Thought Riff, beginning to climb.

15 minutes later...

Left...right..._left!_ 'Oof!'

Riff collapsed at the top, completely out of breath. "What...is it...with divine beings...and...huge staircases?" He panted, before looking up and surveying his surroundings. 'Seems a little dark for heaven... That is where I am, right?'

"Riff..." A voice boomed.

"AWK!" Riff yelped. Staring up at the empty black space before him, three huge pairs of glowing red eyes appeared. Terrified, the Jet leader tried to run, and succeeded only in tripping over his own feet and falling on his rear. "Who are you?!? Where am I?!? What's goin' on?!?"

"Calm yourself, Riff." The voice said again. Then a new voice came from the dark. It was just as loud, only a different pitch.

"You have done nothing wrong. You have nothing to fear. In fact, we need your help."

Riff got to his feet, trying to keep his legs from giving out from under him. "M-my help?"

"Yes. We just need to wait until our next guest arri...ah, here he is now. "

"Oof!"

Riff turned to see a handsome Puerto Rican collapse at the top of the stairs. "YOU!" He yelled.

Bernardo got to his feet. "Can't fight...out of breath...crazy, stupid stairs..."

"And besides that point..." The deep voice said. "Violence is not allowed in the Shadow Realm. At least not while _we're_ here."

Riff turned to the eyes. "So...who exactly is 'we'?"

"We..." Said a final voice, different again in pitch from the other two. "...are the Egyptian Gods. I am Slifer. The one on my left is Obelisk the Tormentor, and on my right is Ra."

"Er-hem?" Said the one on Slifer's right. Slifer groaned.

"The _Winged Dragon_ of Ra."

"That's better."

"As for where you are..." Said Slifer. "You are in the Shadow Realm."

"Tch. Sounds cheerful enough." Said Bernardo.

"..."

"Sorry. Continue." Said Bernardo.

"Ahem. If you are wondering what you are doing here, we have a proposition."

"Which is?" Riff asked.

"Ever since the beginning of time, the shadow realm existed beside the universe. As the three strongest of its inhabitants, called Duel Monsters, we decided to rule the Realm. Working together, we slowly turned the untamed wilds of the Shadows, turning it to the utopia you see before you." Slifer explained.

Riff stared around at the infinite darkness. "Yeah...utopia."

"However, not all monsters in the Shadow Realm are satisfied with our current kingdom. Some monsters wish to extend the shadows to Earth. If they were to do that, instability would destroy your planet. Obviously, we cannot allow that to happen."

"What's all this have to do with _us_?" Asked Bernardo.

"Quite a few things, actually." Said Obelisk. "Like we said before, the three of us have a proposition for you.

"Most of the dimensional distortions which allow monsters access to Earth are too small for stronger monsters such as us to fit through. We have done all we can to try and protect your planet, but if things continue as it has been, we will soon become helpless to intervene."

"And that's where _you _two come in." Said Ra. "We will return you to life, and give you each a Duel Monster of the highest caliber that we can afford. You will act in the human world, destroying the monsters that escape into your dimension. On our end, we will continue to try and stop the monsters from escaping."

Riff thought for a minute. "So what you're saying is that you'll bring us back to life, and give us duel monsters so we can be your bounty hunters? Cool. But why us?"

"That is none of your concern. We can send you directly to Judgement if you do not wish to work for us. We are merely giving you the option to help save your planet." Said Obelisk.

Bernardo thought as well. "Give me both monsters, send Riff to purgatory, and you got a deal."

"WHAT?!?" Riff yelled. "Take it back, you dirty ra-!"

"If you two DON"T MIND!" Roared Slifer.

"I accept your proposal." Snarled Riff, still glaring at Bernardo. Bernardo grunted in agreement.

"Good." Said Slifer. "Now I have a gift for each of you."

Two tiny balls of light floated down to the two gang leaders, who reached out and gripped them. A small, but powerful force opened their hands, and a machine appeared in their palms. It had a streamlined look, with a blue handgrip lined with buttons, and what looked like a LCD screen. After a few seconds, it lit up, but remained blank of any data.

"Those are D-M Terminals. They will allow you means of communication with us, the ability to control your monsters, and evolve them into stronger forms."

"Stronger forms?" Asked Bernardo. "But I thought that strong monsters couldn't exist in Earth."

"I never said that." Said Obelisk. "I simply said that rifts large enough for a monster that powerful to fit through are rare. A small monster can fit through a normal rift, and then evolve into a stronger form; that's what we're worried about. So it is essential for us to give you the Terminals, so you can combat these stronger forms.

"I will now return you to your world. Don't worry; it won't hurt a bit..."

Riff shot up quickly, smashing his head on a hard metal ceiling. Swearing under his breath, he stopped and contemplated his surroundings. It was dark, cramped, made of metal, and freezing cold. Riff gasped as he realized where he was. "Lemmeoutlemmeoutlemmeout!" He screamed, pounding on the door of the morgue with his foot. After a few seconds, a very stunned coroner released him from his entrapment. Standing outside of the hospital, he took a deep breath. '_What a weird dream. Egyptian gods? Duel Monsters? Must've got stabbed harder than I thought. But how did I live through that?_'

Suddenly there was a strange beeping noise from his pocket. Dreading what he was about to find, he reached in, and pulled out a streamlined device...a D-M Terminal. As the Jet leader watched in shock, the screen lit up, revealing a digital map. There was a waypoint marked on the map, along with an arrow. Testing it, Riff turned around 180, and the arrow turned as well. 'I guess that arrow is me...and that means I have to go to the waypoint.'

Ten minutes later...

Riff climbed the fence, then landed on his feet on the other side. 'This is where I'm supposed to be...tch, figures it would be under the highway. I feel such nostalgia for this place...' Suddenly, there was a rattling noise as someone climbed the chain-link fence on the other side of the fateful rumble site. Bernardo landed lightly on his feet, then looked at something in his hand, and finally up at Riff.

"I guess it wasn't a dream after all." Said the head of the Sharks. "So now that we're here..." he grinned. "Rematch?"

Riff cracked his knuckles. "Let's go."

"Tch. Humans. Can't you control your silly hatred for five minutes?" A voice spoke. Riff jumped and looked around for the source of the noise, then realized it had come from his Terminal. He looked down at the Terminal and saw a voice bar. As he watched, it wiggled as the voice spoke again. "It's me: Slifer. Riff, Bernardo, press the second button from the top of your terminal."

Riff pressed the button with a beep as Bernardo did the same. "Like that?" Asked Bernardo.

"Yes. Now I can hear you."

Riff looked at his terminal. "Okay, buddy-boy. Why did you call us here?"

There was a few seconds of silence, then Slifer spoke. "Okay, first of all, don't _ever_ call me that again. Second of all, the two of you need your monsters."

The ceiling lit up with a white glow and two small eggs floated down from the ceiling. One floated in front of Riff, and the other went to Bernardo. As if on some sort of invisible cue, they cracked open, revealing two strange beasts.

The one in front of Riff was a dark purple reptile-like creature, with two red antenna coming out of his head. It had bright red lips, behind which were two rows of sharp-looking teeth. Bernardo was a tiny black dragon chick.

"Riff, the monster in front of you is the Electric Lizard. Don't be fooled by his size; from what I heard, his electric jolts can _hurt_. Bernardo, you have been given the Red-Eyes Black Chick. As with the Lizard, do not be fooled by his size. He can breathe fire with the best of them.

"Now, I know you want to try your new monsters, and lucky for you, you have a chance to. We have an escapee near your current position: a Goblin Calligrapher monster. He is nice and low-leveled, so you shouldn't have much trouble. Get used to your monsters. Slifer out."

"Wait!" Riff yelled. "How do we control our monsters?"

Nothing but silence emitted from the terminal; Slifer had left. Bernardo shook his head and put the terminal on his belt. "So now what?"

"How 'bout we fight that Calligrapher?" Said the Red-Eyes. Bernardo nearly leapt out of his shoes, turning to face the tiny dragon, who was scratching his head with his hind foot like a dog.

"Y-you...talk?!?" Riff stammered.

"Well, duh." Said the Electric Lizard. "We're not dumb animals, you know."

Riff slowly put the Lizard down, trying to calm himself down. 'First Gods, now this.' He said to himself. Suddenly, in the echoing darkness, he heard a noise; something was sniveling and making a strange grunting noise. Riff and Bernardo turned, dreading what they were going to see. A small, hunched shape emerged from the mist that had conveniently appeared.

It was a small, generic purple goblin with a horn on its head. It was hunched, wringing its hands and muttering to itself. Bernardo raised his eyebrow. "What is _that_?" He said in disgust.

"That's a Goblin Calligrapher." Said the Lizard. "I hate them."

Bernardo laughed. "By the look of that thing, I can take that thing out myself!" He yelled, charging at the eyesore.

"Bernardo, wait, **DON'T!**" Riff yelled.

But it was too late. Bernardo leaped into the air, preparing to land directly on top of the Goblin, who seemed to be oblivious to the danger. Bernardo landed feet first on the ground with an echoing thud. He grinned, then raised his eyebrows. "Where did it...? He began, then looked up in horror. Riff's jaw dropped as the goblin leaped off of the ceiling, spinning in the air and driving his heel into Bernardo's face, sending the Shark flying into the chainlink fence with a rattling noise and sprawling to his face, holding his nose.

"You okay, buddy-boy?" Riff asked.

Bernardo struggled to his feet, holding his nose. "His...feet..._stink_!"

"Satisfied?" Asked the Red-Eyes. Bernardo wiped some blood off his lower lip.

"Fine. Sic 'em." Chick charged forward, opening his jaws wide. "_DEMI FIRE BLAST_!" He shouted, launching a red-hot fireball at the goblin, knocking it back.

Riff put on a cocky grin. "Well, it seems to _work_! You too, Liz!" The electric lizard leapt into the air, his body crackling with lightning. "_LIGHTNING PULSE_!" He cried, launching a sonic blast. Unfortunately, the goblin saw this one coming and leapt out of the way, recovering in the air.

"My turn! _HEADLONG RAM _!" He shouted, launching himself headfirst at Chick, who leapt quickly out of the way.

Liz, however, was in a perfect position to attack. "_LIGHTNING PULSE_!" He yelled, firing the sonic blast. This one connected, and the goblin was thrown into the concrete wall.

Bernardo turned to Riff. "Let's stamp him out now while he's off guard! Chick, attack!

"Good idea!" Shouted Riff. "Liz, go!"

"_DEMI FIRE BLAST_!"

"_LIGHTNING PULSE_!"

The attacks struck the goblin stuck in the wall with a resounding explosion and a cloud of dust. "WOOHOO!" Riff shouted. "We got him!" Bernardo, on the other hand, kept staring at the dust cloud.

"I don't think so..."

Suddenly a cold wind blew the dust away, revealing the Goblin. Riff's jaw dropped. "What?!? That didn't do it?" Then his eyes widened as Bernardo gave a gasp from next to him; the goblin had began to glow with an unearthly light, and then began to grow...a lot. He shot upward and outward, becoming taller and larger than Riff and Bernardo combined. His skin turned green, and arcane-looking tattoos appeared on his stomach and arms. He pounded his chest and gave a bellowing roar. The ugly-looking little goblin had mutated into a massive green ogre!

Riff's eyes twitched, partly because of the size of the behemoth, and partly because of it's horrid stench. "What...is that thing?!?"

Bernardo held out his Terminal. "Maybe there's a function that tells what that thing...got it! That thing is Terra the Terrible. He's known as a swamp dweller, and is a minion of the dark forces. It has this weird word next to him: Deux."

Riff turned to the Shark. "Who cares what that thing is! Let's just get him quickly, that stench is starting to make me pass out! Liz, get him!"

Liz charged at the ogre. "_LIGHTING PULSE_!"

The sonic blast fired at the ogre, striking him full in the gut. However, it had no visible effect on the beast. The ogre grinned. "Let me show you a _real_ attack! _SWAMP CLOUD_!"

Liz leaped out of the way of a corrosive cloud of green gas...and right into a devastating punch from the beast. The Lizard was thrown backward to skid on the ground. "Liz!" Shouted Riff, running to his monster.

Bernardo pointed at Terra. "Chick, attack him!" The dragon obeyed with a fireball, but Terra merely grabbed it, dispersing it easily. Bernardo stepped back. "Ahh...uh oh." Terra charged forward and socked the dragon, sending him flying at the wall. "Chick!" He shouted, running to the fallen dragon. "How are we supposed to beat that thing?"

Riff shook his head as the two monsters got up to face Terra. "I dunno. It's like he leveled up to become stronger then our...oh, _duh_!"

"What?"

Riff turned to Bernardo, holding up his D-M Terminal. "Slifer gave us these to combat stronger monsters, right? Well, deux is french for two! If this guy is level 2, then the Goblin was Un: level 1! In order to beat this guy, we have to level up our monsters to Deux as well, using our Terminals!"

"Worth a shot..." Said Bernardo as Terra lumbered toward the two. "And if it doesn't work, it doesn't really matter!" He pulled his terminal off his belt. "Let's go! Level Up!" He shouted as the terminal glowed.

Riff pulled his terminal out and held it up. "Level Up!"

The result was instantaneous. Chick and Liz glowed brightly, causing Terra to step back. Riff and Bernardo watched as the two monsters changed shape. The glow faded slowly, revealing two new impressive monsters.

Red-Eyes Black Chick had grown larger and gained sleek black armor that bristled with spines. It looked more aerodynamic, its wings had grown larger and stronger and looked overall a _lot_ stronger.

The Electric Lizard had transformed to a green, serpentine dragon with large wings. It crackled with electric energy. As if on an invisible cue, the two let out a resounding shout.

"RED-EYES BLACK DRAGON!"

"THUNDER DRAGON!"

Terra stepped back in fear. This wasn't in the contract...

"_INFERNO FIRE BLAST_!"

"_LIGHTNING CANNON_!"

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the two duelists, standing on a roof, a cloaked being watched as Terra was blown into oblivion. "Hmm. They took down Terra. This drizzle may yet become a storm..."

(A/N: Phew! That took long enough to write, and it's not over yet! In fact, I want some ideas for the next chapters, a little interaction. You can ask in a review for storylines, monsters you want to see, and so on and so forth. Here, of course, are the rules: no Yaoi/Yuri, and keep it PG or lower. Thank you, and see you next chapter!)


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